And for our next thing ....

We brought Just One Thing to a grand conclusion with our wonderful Chanukah party yesterday afternoon. Rabbi gave a fascinating shiur on synagogue buildings - apparently the essential thing for a synagogue is not a Torah Scroll, or ark or kiddush (shame!) but people - the minyan is the thing. We certainly had more than a minyan yesterday.
Aimee and David entertained the young ones ...

While the older ones amused themselves with some Israeli dancing led by Cathy Knowles ..

And the doughnuts and latkes were eaten by everyone.

In fact, the party was so good that plans were hatched to do something similar at Purim, and some of us will also be meeting on Jan 3rd for a post-Bank Holiday ramble. 
Thank you to everyone who did Just One Thing, and also to those who did many, many things!

JUST ONE THING

Happy Chanukah!

Don’t we all love lighting the first candle, knowing that it’s only going to get better and brighter as each night adds another flame?

It’s the same with shul’s Just One Thing.

Last Tuesday for her Just One Thing, Mandy organised a shul night out, and it was fantastic – an excellent turn out, lively conversation, and off the back of it, plans for a blow-away-the festive-cobwebs ramble on January 3^rd. Watch this space!

On Shabbat, David Hoffman’s One Thing involved bringing Shir Chadash to the Shabbat morning service. (And a big mazeltov to David, on becoming the new Chairperson of Limmud!) Downstairs, just off the Alexander Levy Hall, we were treated to a musical service, complete with guitar, mandolin, piano and voice. The essential components of the Shabbat service are all there – the key prayers, the Torah reading, Haftarah, but delivered creatively and interactively. It’s a different and refreshing way of worship.

And if you’re sad you missed it, don’t be! Because there’s a special Shir Chadash service this Friday night complete with doughnuts and a chavurah supper. Details from Mandy in the shul office.

Whether you’ve done your One Thing or not, be sure to come to the Just One Thing grand finale – our spectacular Chanukah Party this Sunday 13^th December, 3 – 6pm at shul. It’s free and there’s something to suit everyone – a shiur from Rabbi, games for children and ... ta-dah! ... doughnuts! Give Mandy a ring if you can, to say you’ll be there, but the most important thing is to turn up.

And remember to check the Just One Thing Facebook page, and tell us what you’ve done! Sh’choyach to Jay, for setting this up as his Just One Thing!

(And mazeltov to Richard and Amal, who got married for their Just One Thing. Beat that!)

Northern Chagigah

Chagigah means celebration, and the MRJ communities have so much to celebrate right now, it’s hard to know where to start. So let’s go for the beginning of the weekend, as I arrived at Kenwood Hall in Sheffield, collected my welcome pack and sought familiar faces at this gathering of the northern Reform communities.  As this was not my first chagigah, I knew that very soon all our different communities were going to merge into one big community, but at the beginning, it all feels a bit strange.

That process of merging began in Kaballat Shabbat, when Rabbis Fabian and Esther (Menorah and Sinai) led us in a musical, service, binding us together in tunes and reflections. Dinner also helped – and can I just say how lovely it is to have after-dinner conversations with people you feel so comfortable with, even if you don’t know them properly. We Reform Jews do have something special going on. After dinner there was music again (thank you, Shir Chadash) and also a rare treat – some of our Rabbonim sharing their own personal stories. I can tell you there’s not a corner of the world Rabbi Fabian has not visited, Rabbi Esther fell in love through an organisation called EuroJew and Rabbi Barbara Borts (Darlington) can sing Allan Sherman’s Hello Mother, Hello Father from memory. Student Rabbi Kath Vardi was a kibbutznik and Rabbi Laura claims to still be a teenage rebel. You heard it first here!

From the breaking of the dawn on Shabbat there were activities on offer. I found out about Jeremy Dable’s trip to Calais, before going to my choice of Shabbat service – a text-based, spiritual service with discussion. And it was quite a spot-hitter! There was also a musical and a learning service. And afterwards we all came together for Torah with Laura – always unmissable.

Shabbat afternoon is also for rest and relaxation, but some of us gathered together for an impromptu reading of Sheffield-educated Jack Rosenthal’s The Bar Mitzvah Boy. What a brilliant play!  Then – more sessions, too many to list – and then our guest speaker, the wonderful Edie Friedman from JCore, addressed us all. After dinner, those with initiative and energy partook in one of the most ingenious quizzes devised by mankind (well, actually it was devised by Caroline Kessler from Menorah.)

Sunday morning – more inspirational sessions – but I am conscious I am not doing Chagigah justice. It isn’t just about the learning and the meetings – it’s about friendship. The inbetween conversations we all had made up the glue that holds us all together – it’s amazing how much we all have in common.  At Chagigah, there’s no such thing as a lonely Jew! And I haven’t mentioned RSY and their high-octane sessions for the kids, and the crèche, and the crafts, and, and, and!

The worst thing about Chagigah is that is has to end. But does it?

This year, things are rather different. There’s a real desire among the northern communities to work (and play) together more closely. There’s strength in numbers, and so much enrichment in comparing and sharing. All the northern communities, both big and small, have much to give each other. But do we have the money to turn this aspiration into a reality?

Yes we do!!

Because the MRJ has awarded grants to four projects in the north, and all of them will carry on the Chagigah spirit. One is to ensure our smaller communities get input from rabbis and musical experts *waves to Shir Chadash*. The second is to bring vastly increased RSY provision to the north with frequent events for all youth in the north – watch this space – it really is happening!

There are also two big learning projects. One is to develop the online learning available together with small group learning so we can continue studying alongside our new friends. The other is to set up the RJ Institute – a programme for training congregants to take services or parts of services, so we can help our rabbis and help each other out. This institute will also train us to lead educational sessions in the style of L’Chaim and increase our knowledge and confidence in Hebrew, in our liturgy and our scholarship. You will be hearing a lot more about these projects in the very near future.

In one of the concluding events, a member of Sinai commented she had not seen so much energy and excitement in the northern communities for a very long time.  And I would agree absolutely. While we all love our own individual synagogues and communities, it’s so good to remember and experience the fact that we are also all Northern Reform Jews. As the chair of MRJ, Robert Weiner, drew the Northern Network meeting to a close, you could tell he was jealous of us ;).

We are lucky in our people – our Rabbonim, our leaders and the wonderful Sarita Robinson, our northern co-ordinator, who has brought so much connection and fun to our communities – Northern Chagigah is her baby! But we are also lucky in having each other. The weekend ended with a storytelling session from the amazing Shonaleigh Cumbers, who entertained us with a tale about Luck and Wisdom. And here in the north we have both! 

Laura's Story

JUST ONE JOURNEY - the lovely Laura Goldman tells her story as a fantastic start to Just One Thing shabbat. Sh'choyach, Laura!

Hi! For everybody who doesn’t know me already, my name is Laura Goldman. I'm wife to Russell and Mummy to Mario. I'm 28 years old and I've been attending Manchester Reform Synagogue for almost 3 years now. As part of the ‘Just one thing’ pledge I would like to share with you my conversion to Judaism journey.

 

My journey with Judaism started 6 years ago when I met Russell. We met when I was working in a luxury menswear store in Manchester. I was the Manager and Russell was a customer who often shopped there.  After serving him numerous times and chatting about things we had in common we went on our first date! During our first date at San Carlo (now our favorite Italian restaurant) it dawned on me that he may be Jewish. I can't remember exactly what he said that provoked me to come out with it and just ask him directly "Are you Jewish?" “Yes” he replied! I think I followed on with something along the lines of "so you don't eat bacon?" Typical of a non-Jewish person’s take on the religion. 

Russell and I fell in love and he proposed to me a year later. I was overjoyed and was so excited to start planning our wedding. We decided to have a low-key wedding and chose the beautiful island of Mauritius to tie the knot. We went alone with no family or friends and spent two weeks on the island. It was paradise! Our ceremony was very romantic and intimate, just the two of us dedicating our love to each other and vowing to spend the rest of our lives together through sickness and in health. 

You’re probably asking yourself the question, Why did they do that? Why did they have no family or friends there to share their happiness? Well to be honest we both wanted a low-key affair, abroad. But unfortunately our families were not able to come with us.

I tragically lost my mother when I was only 14 so I had always known my wedding day would be very difficult not having her there; this is mainly why I had decided a big extravagant white wedding wasn't going to be my dream. My father lives abroad and my brother Francis also lives abroad. My Brother is a teacher in Qatar so getting time off is difficult during term time. Russell’s father was afraid of flying and his mother hasn't been abroad for many years. So that left us with a decision to make. Do we do what we have dreamed of and tie the knot in paradise alone? Or do we do something we aren't completely happy with so that our nearest and dearest can be a part of it.  With our parents sincerest blessings we decided to follow our hearts and do what we really wanted. We were extremely lucky because my Dad & Russell’s parents were very laid back about the whole thing and just told us to do whatever we wished. So that was that! On 22nd May 2014 we tied the knot in the grounds of the tropical gardens of Le Toussrok, Mauritius.

 

Up until this point we had only really casually discussed Russell’s religion and my plans to convert. Again there was no pressure from the family. And we hadn't really set aside any time to attend the Synagogue because of my work commitments. 

I wasn't brought up with religion. My mother was Church of England and my father was Roman Catholic. My parents didn't want to force religion upon my brother & I because my father had it as a child and he vowed never to do the same to his children. My dad was educated in a Catholic boarding school in Wales ran by Priests. 

Growing up in a small village in Cronton, Cheshire religion was never a part of my life. I went to a private school so it was multi faith. It wasn't until I lost my mother that it suddenly struck me that religion was important. The previous year my brother had decided to study Catholicism and he was baptised at his own wish. So my father and brother found great comfort in their religion following the loss of my mother, but I however was a little lost and unsure what my views were around death and mourning. I did begin to find comfort eventually and I found my own way to deal with the tragic loss. It took me many years to come to terms with it and accept that she was never coming back. I had a huge void in my life for so long and it was only after meeting Russell did my heart begin to heal. I don't think I will ever get over what I went through, I don't think my heart will ever fully heal, but I do think I as an individual I will continue to get stronger and as I move through life continue to find the strength to deal with her loss. 

My real journey with Judaism didn't begin until the tragic loss of Russell’s father. In April 2013 Melvyn suddenly passed away. He suffered a bleed on the brain. His death left the family devastated and shocked. It was so sudden. Melvyn was an amazing man. He had a heart of gold and everybody loved him.

Words cannot express how truly overwhelmed I was at how the community came together to support the family. People brought food, offered support, and visited the home of Russell’s mother I was blown away. I had never witnessed such a sense of community and I never believed people could unite in such a way. This really touched me and gave me faith. Having people around you for support during a difficult time is so important to help deal with loss.

I was first introduced to Rabbi Silverman at the Bensalem. I will never forget this. He was so welcoming and attentive towards me and he had an aura about him that made me feel very at ease and a part of the faith right from the beginning. 

Following on from the Shiva we started to attend Shabbat morning services every week. 

Going to the Synagogue gave me a strong sense of belonging. It offered me a spiritual and religious place where I felt comfortable. I very quickly started to pick up the order of the service each week and I became familiar with all of the blessings.

After about 6 months Rabbi Silverman invited us to meet with him. He didn't tell us what he wanted to talk about so we were a little nervous before hand. During the meeting Rabbi didn't do much talking, he just asked how we were and if I was enjoying attending the Synagogue. I explained to the Rabbi how it made me feel when I arrived at Shul on Shabbat mornings. I felt very spiritual, I felt a sense of belonging, warm and happy, a positive vibe would run through me and I felt welcomed by the community. I then explained to Rabbi that I wanted to learn more about Judaism, my reason for this and that I thought I could be ready start the conversion classes.  Rabbi delved a lot deeper into my reason behind converting and told me that he felt I was ready to start the weekly classes as I had already started learning to read Hebrew. Over the course of the next 18 months I attended weekly classes where Rabbi Warren Elf taught me all aspects of Judaism and how to read Hebrew. I attended most Shabbat mornings and all of the High Holy Day services. I was working full time as a Retail Manager throughout the course of my learning process. Sometimes it was extremely difficult to attend every single week because I worked very long hours and sometimes travelled up and down the country. Rabbi was very understanding towards my circumstances and he was aware of the demands of modern day life especially where my career was involved. I communicated with Rabbi Silverman on a weekly basis and kept him informed if for any reason I was unable to attend some weeks. 

Towards the end of my course I was asked to choose two representatives from the Shul to give me references as I was put forward to the Beit Din. This was a very easy choice for me, I didn't have to think twice. I knew exactly who to choose. I chose the President Danny Savage. Danny was one of the first people I met when I started attending Shul services. He would always go out of his way to greet me and ask me how I was. If I was ever late arriving he would greet me with a warm smile from the Bimah and often make an effort to talk to me.  Danny made me feel very much a part of the community right from the start. He took the time to get to know Russell and I and gave us his full support throughout our journey. The second person I asked to represent me was Marianne Phillips. I first met Marianne during one of my Judaism classes. She popped in to say hello after practising the Torah portion for the upcoming Shabbat, in preparation for her 90th birthday celebrations. Marianne was very attentive towards me that evening and really made an effort to get to know me. I felt a connection with Marianne. Although there was a 64-year age gap between us we got on very well and seemed to have so much to talk about. Marianne offered to help me with my Hebrew reading and invited me to her house on many occasions to practise. During this time we built up a lovely friendship. Marianne is an outstanding lady; she has so much energy and charisma. 

I was so excited when Rabbi Silverman told me I was ready for the Beit Din and had a date for me to go to London for my interview. I prepared my personal statement, chose my Hebrew name and practiced my blessings. 

I was 38 weeks pregnant with Mario when I travelled down to London. Russell drove me in the car with my hospital bag packed in the boot just in case the little man decided to make an appearance on the way! 

As we arrived at the Leo Baeck college I was feeling really nervous. Rabbi Silverman had discussed the procedure with me beforehand but my mind just went blank - a mixture of nerves and excitement was beginning to take over. I walked through the gates, checked in with security and made my way into the main building. Just as I got to the top of the steps Rabbi Silverman’s head popped round the door! "Welcome" he said and his face beamed with a warm smile. Straight away this put me at ease. 

After my interview with the board I was asked to wait outside while the Rabbis discussed my reasons for conversion. I was called back in and my stomach was churning. I was confident but that didn't calm my nerves. Rabbi Silverman and Russell came in with me and I was informed that I had been accepted into the faith and welcomed with a reading. It was such a proud moment for Russell and I and we were delighted that Rabbi was also a part of it and shared this monumental occasion with us both. I was so emotional and overjoyed. 

Shortly after I was directed to the Mikvah where I submersed as the final part of my conversion process. 

What an unbelievable journey it had been... But this was not the end it was merely just the beginning....

Exactly 5 weeks later Mario Jacob Daniel was born. A healthy little baby boy. 

So what comes next? I've successfully converted, my little boy arrived perfectly healthy and we are due to marry under the Chuppa early next year. Well, Judaism is not just a religion. It is a way of life and a culture that I embrace. I have made a commitment to myself, my husband, son, family and the Synagogue that I will live a Jewish life, run a Jewish home, raise and educate a Jewish child and maintain the faith as a part of our everyday lives for ever. It is a huge responsibility and if anybody is considering converting to Judaism it is not a decision to be taken lightly. Judaism does not openly welcome converts unlike other faiths. And it is deliberately made difficult for converts to be accepted. This is to ensure that you are doing it for the right reasons and to ensure that you are fully committed to devoting your life to the Jewish faith. I have certainly been put through my paces throughout my conversion journey. I have been questioned and tested so many times. I have been made to feel welcome by some and rejected by others. This is all part of the journey and all I can say is I've made it through the good times and the bad but the whole time I have known sincerely in my heart that this was the right choice of religion for me and I don't regret any of the choices or the sacrifices that I have made along the way. 

Finally I want to say a huge thank you to all of my fellow congregants at Manchester Reform Synagogue and everybody who has been a part of my journey with Judaism to the present day.  You have whole-heartedly welcomed me into your community and given me a strong sense of belonging. I couldn't have done it without your support and guidance and I especially thank Rabbi Silverman, Rabbi Warren Elf, Danny Savage and Marianne Phillips.

Thank you for reading. If you would like to learn more about me and my journey through motherhood please check out my personal blog site marioandmeblog.wordpress.com

And a word from the editor - if you would like to share your story too, please email me at sherryashworth1@aol.com