Hi! For everybody who doesn’t know me already, my name is Laura Goldman. I'm wife to Russell and Mummy to Mario. I'm 28 years old and I've been attending Manchester Reform Synagogue for almost 3 years now. As part of the ‘Just one thing’ pledge I would like to share with you my conversion to Judaism journey.
My
journey with Judaism started 6 years ago when I met Russell. We met when I was
working in a luxury menswear store in Manchester. I was the Manager and Russell
was a customer who often shopped there. After serving him numerous times
and chatting about things we had in common we went on our first date! During
our first date at San Carlo (now our favorite Italian restaurant) it dawned on
me that he may be Jewish. I can't remember exactly what he said that provoked
me to come out with it and just ask him directly "Are you Jewish?"
“Yes” he replied! I think I followed on with something along the lines of
"so you don't eat bacon?" Typical of a non-Jewish person’s take on
the religion.
Russell
and I fell in love and he proposed to me a year later. I was overjoyed and was
so excited to start planning our wedding. We decided to have a low-key wedding
and chose the beautiful island of Mauritius to tie the knot. We went alone with
no family or friends and spent two weeks on the island. It was paradise! Our
ceremony was very romantic and intimate, just the two of us dedicating our love
to each other and vowing to spend the rest of our lives together through
sickness and in health.
You’re
probably asking yourself the question, Why did they do that? Why did they have
no family or friends there to share their happiness? Well to be honest we both
wanted a low-key affair, abroad. But unfortunately our families were not able
to come with us.
I
tragically lost my mother when I was only 14 so I had always known my wedding
day would be very difficult not having her there; this is mainly why I had
decided a big extravagant white wedding wasn't going to be my dream. My father
lives abroad and my brother Francis also lives abroad. My Brother is a teacher
in Qatar so getting time off is difficult during term time. Russell’s father
was afraid of flying and his mother hasn't been abroad for many years. So that
left us with a decision to make. Do we do what we have dreamed of and tie the
knot in paradise alone? Or do we do something we aren't completely happy with
so that our nearest and dearest can be a part of it. With our parents
sincerest blessings we decided to follow our hearts and do what we really
wanted. We were extremely lucky because my Dad & Russell’s parents were
very laid back about the whole thing and just told us to do whatever we wished.
So that was that! On 22nd May 2014 we tied the knot in the grounds of the
tropical gardens of Le Toussrok, Mauritius.
Up
until this point we had only really casually discussed Russell’s religion and
my plans to convert. Again there was no pressure from the family. And we hadn't
really set aside any time to attend the Synagogue because of my work
commitments.
I
wasn't brought up with religion. My mother was Church of England and my father
was Roman Catholic. My parents didn't want to force religion upon my brother
& I because my father had it as a child and he vowed never to do the same
to his children. My dad was educated in a Catholic boarding school in Wales ran
by Priests.
Growing
up in a small village in Cronton, Cheshire religion was never a part of my
life. I went to a private school so it was multi faith. It wasn't until I lost
my mother that it suddenly struck me that religion was important. The
previous year my brother had decided to study Catholicism and he was baptised
at his own wish. So my father and brother found great comfort in their religion
following the loss of my mother, but I however was a little lost and unsure
what my views were around death and mourning. I did begin to find comfort
eventually and I found my own way to deal with the tragic loss. It took me many
years to come to terms with it and accept that she was never coming back. I had
a huge void in my life for so long and it was only after meeting Russell did my
heart begin to heal. I don't think I will ever get over what I went through, I
don't think my heart will ever fully heal, but I do think I as an individual I
will continue to get stronger and as I move through life continue to find the
strength to deal with her loss.
My
real journey with Judaism didn't begin until the tragic loss of Russell’s father.
In April 2013 Melvyn suddenly passed away. He suffered a bleed on the brain.
His death left the family devastated and shocked. It was so sudden. Melvyn was
an amazing man. He had a heart of gold and everybody loved him.
Words
cannot express how truly overwhelmed I was at how the community came together
to support the family. People brought food, offered support, and visited the
home of Russell’s mother I was blown away. I had never witnessed such a sense
of community and I never believed people could unite in such a way. This really
touched me and gave me faith. Having people around you for support during a
difficult time is so important to help deal with loss.
I
was first introduced to Rabbi Silverman at the Bensalem. I will never forget
this. He was so welcoming and attentive towards me and he had an aura about him
that made me feel very at ease and a part of the faith right from the
beginning.
Following
on from the Shiva we started to attend Shabbat morning services every
week.
Going
to the Synagogue gave me a strong sense of belonging. It offered me a spiritual
and religious place where I felt comfortable. I very quickly started to pick up
the order of the service each week and I became familiar with all of the
blessings.
After
about 6 months Rabbi Silverman invited us to meet with him. He didn't tell us
what he wanted to talk about so we were a little nervous before hand. During
the meeting Rabbi didn't do much talking, he just asked how we were and if I
was enjoying attending the Synagogue. I explained to the Rabbi how it made me
feel when I arrived at Shul on Shabbat mornings. I felt very spiritual, I felt
a sense of belonging, warm and happy, a positive vibe would run through me and
I felt welcomed by the community. I then explained to Rabbi that I wanted to learn
more about Judaism, my reason for this and that I thought I could be ready
start the conversion classes. Rabbi delved a lot deeper into my reason
behind converting and told me that he felt I was ready to start the weekly
classes as I had already started learning to read Hebrew. Over the course of
the next 18 months I attended weekly classes where Rabbi Warren Elf taught me
all aspects of Judaism and how to read Hebrew. I attended most Shabbat mornings
and all of the High Holy Day services. I was working full time as a Retail Manager
throughout the course of my learning process. Sometimes it was extremely
difficult to attend every single week because I worked very long hours and
sometimes travelled up and down the country. Rabbi was very understanding towards
my circumstances and he was aware of the demands of modern day life especially
where my career was involved. I communicated with Rabbi Silverman on a weekly
basis and kept him informed if for any reason I was unable to attend some
weeks.
Towards
the end of my course I was asked to choose two representatives from the Shul to
give me references as I was put forward to the Beit Din. This was a very easy
choice for me, I didn't have to think twice. I knew exactly who to choose. I
chose the President Danny Savage. Danny was one of the first people I met when
I started attending Shul services. He would always go out of his way to greet
me and ask me how I was. If I was ever late arriving he would greet me with a
warm smile from the Bimah and often make an effort to talk to me. Danny
made me feel very much a part of the community right from the start. He took
the time to get to know Russell and I and gave us his full support throughout
our journey. The second person I asked to represent me was Marianne Phillips. I
first met Marianne during one of my Judaism classes. She popped in to say hello
after practising the Torah portion for the upcoming Shabbat, in
preparation for her 90th birthday celebrations. Marianne was very attentive
towards me that evening and really made an effort to get to know me. I felt a
connection with Marianne. Although there was a 64-year age gap between us we
got on very well and seemed to have so much to talk about. Marianne offered to
help me with my Hebrew reading and invited me to her house on many occasions to
practise. During this time we built up a lovely friendship. Marianne is an
outstanding lady; she has so much energy and charisma.
I
was so excited when Rabbi Silverman told me I was ready for the Beit Din and
had a date for me to go to London for my interview. I prepared my personal
statement, chose my Hebrew name and practiced my blessings.
I
was 38 weeks pregnant with Mario when I travelled down to London. Russell drove
me in the car with my hospital bag packed in the boot just in case the little
man decided to make an appearance on the way!
As
we arrived at the Leo Baeck college I was feeling really nervous. Rabbi
Silverman had discussed the procedure with me beforehand but my mind just went
blank - a mixture of nerves and excitement was beginning to take over. I walked
through the gates, checked in with security and made my way into the main
building. Just as I got to the top of the steps Rabbi Silverman’s head popped
round the door! "Welcome" he said and his face beamed with a warm
smile. Straight away this put me at ease.
After
my interview with the board I was asked to wait outside while the Rabbis
discussed my reasons for conversion. I was called back in and my stomach was
churning. I was confident but that didn't calm my nerves. Rabbi Silverman and
Russell came in with me and I was informed that I had been accepted into the
faith and welcomed with a reading. It was such a proud moment for Russell and I
and we were delighted that Rabbi was also a part of it and shared this
monumental occasion with us both. I was so emotional and overjoyed.
Shortly
after I was directed to the Mikvah where I submersed as the final part of my
conversion process.
What
an unbelievable journey it had been... But this was not the end it was merely
just the beginning....
Exactly
5 weeks later Mario Jacob Daniel was born. A healthy little baby boy.
So
what comes next? I've successfully converted, my little boy arrived perfectly
healthy and we are due to marry under the Chuppa early next year. Well, Judaism
is not just a religion. It is a way of life and a culture that I embrace.
I have made a commitment to myself, my husband, son, family and the Synagogue
that I will live a Jewish life, run a Jewish home, raise and educate a Jewish
child and maintain the faith as a part of our everyday lives for ever. It is a
huge responsibility and if anybody is considering converting to Judaism it is
not a decision to be taken lightly. Judaism does not openly welcome converts
unlike other faiths. And it is deliberately made difficult for converts to be
accepted. This is to ensure that you are doing it for the right reasons and to
ensure that you are fully committed to devoting your life to the Jewish faith.
I have certainly been put through my paces throughout my conversion journey. I
have been questioned and tested so many times. I have been made to feel welcome
by some and rejected by others. This is all part of the journey and
all I can say is I've made it through the good times and the bad but the whole
time I have known sincerely in my heart that this was the right choice of
religion for me and I don't regret any of the choices or the sacrifices that I
have made along the way.
Finally
I want to say a huge thank you to all of my fellow congregants at Manchester
Reform Synagogue and everybody who has been a part of my journey with Judaism
to the present day. You have whole-heartedly welcomed me into your
community and given me a strong sense of belonging. I couldn't have done it
without your support and guidance and I especially thank Rabbi Silverman, Rabbi
Warren Elf, Danny Savage and Marianne Phillips.
Thank
you for reading. If you would like to learn more about me and my journey
through motherhood please check out my personal blog site
marioandmeblog.wordpress.com
And a word from the editor - if you would like to share your story too, please email me at sherryashworth1@aol.com
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